Being tense is a natural state but when there are stress and trauma, like there has been, my entire body takes tension to a whole new dimension. At the time of the incident, there honestly isn’t notice on my part made from my end. Usually I rely, selfishly, on Jamison to notice how tense I am and to remind me to relax and let go of my muscles. This keeps me from dealing with the inevitable aftermath that comes from holding my muscles like I’m in a major flex competition.
However… With the recent funeral and situation, there was no ability to bring my amazing coach, and he had no way of reminding me to stop clenching my entire body every thirty seconds. Now I am consistently sitting in the stiff aftermath of tension and restlessness. I wonder if it’s also the new medication I’m on causing all kinds of restlessness. You think they could give me something to quit this shit? I feel like I’m in a constant writhe as if I’m a hydra whose head has been severed and is twisting and thrashing around waiting for its new heads to pop the fuck out. My nerves just want to crawl their way out of my pores and droop to the floor.
Make it staaahhhhppp!!!
Ridi
Traumatized Viridimere 